Homework: Miley and Me

These days, I have a love/hate relationship with Miley Cyrus. On one hand, I love most of the music she put out while she was a Disney Channel star on "Hannah Montana" snatching precious spotlight from Haley Joel Osment's more talented sister Emily, the show that catapulted her into the public spotlight. On the other, I hate the fact that she is now pretty much the poster child of downplaying cultural appropriation. Back in 2012, I was all here for a musical comeback from Miley! She dyed and cut her hair (a very edgy and well executed move), her fashion was becoming more ambitious and on point and she was working with more urban oriented producers for the follow-up of 2010's "Can't Be Tamed," which we can safely equate to what Rihanna stans claim her first two records were before "Good Girl Gone Bad" was released: a mixtape. When "We Can't Stop" first dropped, I was amazed on how far Miley and her team would go to get a hit (#3 on Billboard, most likely will go #1). What really surprised me was the lyrical content and embarrassing visuals. I mean, she's twenty, so it's a lot more acceptable than her being sixteen screaming she can't be tamed while in hot pants and faux-kissing girls on stage. Here are the problems I have with Miley and her new single/image:  

1.Promoting stuff you clearly don't do in your regular life 

While she owns up to smoking marijuana (and if she didn't we all saw the video), one of the lines in "We Can't Stop" suspiciously sounds like she is referring to "Molly", the street name for the drug Ecstasy. She has claimed on numerous occasions that the line says "Dancin' with Miley," then reneged about it, but we know she wasn't fooling anyone. There are those lines with double meanings like in "If U Seek Amy." Plus she references cocaine in the song, which is an equally dangerous drug. 

2.The "Twerking"

Miley, you can't twerk. You can't bend over, smile and attempt to shake what you clearly don't have. You're shaking it more like a geriatric woman than you're at the strip club. I could twerk circles around you, and I'm a guy. The real twerk team needs to give you some advice, like to stop "twerking" period.

 3.The lingo 

Miley is from the country. Tennessee to be exact. I'm not convinced by her twang that she is getting turnt up anywhere unless she's back on the farm turning up some type of farm machinery. 

4.Dissing your old music

 If it wasn't for Miley's pop records, we would not know you you are. If it wasn't for "Party In The USA" and "He Could Be The One," your name would be nowhere to be found on the charts. There is nothing wrong with your past music because it was appropriate for your age. D'OH!

5.Miley Being a Baby

There must be a different definition of growing up in Miley Cyrus's mind. Growing up doesn't mean thrusting your ass in people's faces in a music video. Growing up doesn't mean getting angry at every criticism that someone makes about what you're doing with your life. This is the image that you chose to present to the public, now you have to own up to your (or your record labels choice IDK)

This is clearly all an act to draw in a different audience to consume your music, since you wanted to distance yourself away from your moderately clean Disney image. Marina and the Diamonds did something similar with her "Electra Heart" era to establish herself as a pop star, but she made it known that she was playing a character and not parading around like she was a superficial rich bitch with daddy issues 24/7 in real life. I feel like it would be more acceptable if Miley was saying that her music was urban inspired, rather than telling a producer give me something "black".

                                        (what behind is she referring to?)
The antics that she showcased in the music video, with her ridiculous twerking, the gold fronts and the overall wannabe ratchet attitude is so bad that

Then there was that interview where she tries to play down that she doesn't know who One Direction is because all she listens to nowadays is urban music. Yeah ok, Miley. That being said, I'm still going to check the album when it comes out, because it's Miley and she was part of my childhood. But for now, I'm going to blast "7 Things" and "Party In The USA" (which btw is your biggest hit Miley) and pray that Pharell gives her some classy urban a la Britney Spears. 

Charlamagne Tha God said it the best: